Voyage.

She sat across from a man for the first time- not her father, finding ways to not accept
She couldn’t.
Anxiety and anger were not present, shocking to her inner child, whom she had been burying into her chest, wrapped in a Light Blue blanket, protecting the infant from the damaging heat for the last few years.
She accepted and moved forward with the engagement
Stories unfolded, laughter took precedence- and all the Past somehow
Turned from a twisted, dismal Confusion, to a tunnel of light- moving quickly, growing brighter.

She sat across from a woman for the first time- not her mother, finding ways to not accept
She couldn’t.
With salty tears nowhere on the horizon, she felt compelled to quickly
Judge herself. As she always did. Did she lose her heart? Could she not feel anymore?
A voyage that once brought on hurricanes and damage has led her to arrive safely.

Crawling slowly onto a shore on all fours, battered from strong winds, but now standing stronger
Black and White images flashing from past to present where she stood- a series of battles
I am here, and I am feeling- uncomfortably feeling the happiness of this life without regression.
Why? She knows why. And she stands with her arms out, pointed to the Light Blue sky, Laughing. Laughing at the journey. Laughing at the beauty. Laughing at her Trust that for some reason never left her.

"you'll know."

sometimes the best way to describe how i feel is through a song. i know i haven't been writing much. i think i have a lot to say, but am trying to find the time and inspiration to actually write it out. for now, i think i am in reflection mode- from a short, but significant trip back home to tennessee, to realizing what i thought i wanted was not the case, to being truly happy, to a moment in time of genuine comfort and connection i thought i wouldn't feel again.

i went to see jonsi (part of sigur ros) the other night in nyc. i cannot even put into words how powerful the concert was for me. the music itself is incredible, but the musicians were simply brilliant- switching instruments, physically feeling their language as they played. the visualization on stage and on the backdrop told stories throughout the show, making you feel like you were on another world- a sort of out of body experience. if you get to see him live, go go go. here are two songs that really touch me both musically and lyrically.