winter frolic .

komodo dragon.

"hi nate. how was your day, buddy?"

i come here everyday. i like it. yes, i heard you ask how my day was, but i already answered you in my head. my day? it was good. i like that we made cookies in school, and i got to take them home with me. i like how much fun we had and that we got to mix food coloring to make whatever color frosting we wanted. i liked watching a movie about lizards. i learned that komodo dragons can be up to 9 ft and they eat pigs! i want to see that in real life! my day was good like this cookie.

"can i just have another cookie? the light of marriage!"

"you brought those from school, nate. i don't have any cookies here. but, how was your day? was it good?"

maybe i can give this cookie to the girl next door, so that she will kiss me and be my girlfriend. im already 12 years old. i want a girlfriend like i see on tv. i watched an episode where a man and woman get married and they talked about marriage and commitment. it seems special. i want to find out. i have to go next door. 

"can i take this, and and and give it to a girl?" she asked me how my day was again. i thought i answered. 

"nate, how was your day? can you tell me that first?"

"good! how was your day? 9 feet, so you better watch out!" she says i have to have good behavior and then i can go next door- oh what is that?! i know she is talking to me about where i heard "the light of marriage," but i don't really remember the show i heard it from. she thanked me for caring enough to ask how her day is going, but i always care. i just forget to ask. i try and remember, but- hey, it's snowing! my brother and i can play in the snow tomorrow if we, but- oh, i forgot to say hi to my brother when i came in. ill tell her more about my day. she will appreciate that. why did she ask about how i said komodo dragons are 9 feet? doesn't she know what i'm talking about?

"komodo dragons are the biggest of the lizard species!" i love sharing what i remember! i love twirling around and seeing all the different views all at one time. there's my brother. whoa! there he is again. luke! hey, luke! this is so fun!

"how do you know so much about komodo dragons, nate? you are very smart."

"hi, luke!"

knowledge.

i wanted to try and illustrate what i perceive to be the natural flow of self-awareness with this photo using placement of words, and colors. the tree itself is absolutely breathtaking, and stands alone in an open savannah at the Murchison Falls National Park. how do you view the process of inner growth? do you think of certain images when reflecting on your journey of self? 

post valentines love.

sitting here this afternoon with a cup of tea and counting my blessings. last night i went to listen to some extremely talented musician friends play down the street in a little coffee shop, and i was completely lifted listening to their incredible music. the music was folky and fun at times, and i just kept picturing them in a bathtub, wearing rags, going down a river, waving and smiling like they knew something we didn't know....those are probably my issues....and i like them...nevertheless, my friends put on an amazing performance. i was captivated. what i found most rewarding though was the number of people who came to listen and support these guys. it's so empowering to see such love and care coming from your community. i'm so blessed to have found wonderful friends in this town. i really cannot speak more highly of them (you know who you are). i also started thinking about my friends in my life that i love, but aren't in new york. even though i cannot be physically close to them, they are part of me each and every day (cliche' and mushy, i'm well aware). so, with the passing of the valentines season, know that i love you all deeply and sincerely.

i imagine you stirring up a debate in your hometown just because you love getting people riled up. you probably didn't even agree with yourself, but you found it entertaining to charm your way through the situation, because you know everyone adores you. i love you.


i imagine you putting aside all your other 'to-dos' to have lunch with a friend who needs to talk. you are probably stressed to get to your work, but you have the most amazing grace and compassion for others that your worries fly away so that you can be present for a friend. i love you.

i imagine that you and your sweet husband are driving to brunch after church, but you missed a turn, because you were talking on the phone. you throw your hand up in a dramatic way, but then realize....it's going to be okay. you are so strong. i love you.

i imagine you reading in your favorite coffee shop at the foot of those beautiful blue mountains, perhaps enjoying some carrot cake. you just talked to five random people, because you love learning from others and people are automatically drawn to you and your incredible laugh. i love you.

i imagine you waking up and going through your exact routine today. you make a call to a friend who is stressed, and sit and listened with all your heart while giving the best advice...always. the hour long call was not on your list, but when it comes to us, it doesn't matter. i love you.

i imagine you taking your sunday by storm. you are full of energy and nothing gets you down, even a windy city. you are meeting with a big group of friends you have made, even in a new city, to play some crazy game, or go to a concert. you are living life fully and are admired by everyone who gets lucky enough to meet you. i love you.

i imagine you dancing. you are taking the garbage out from a fun night, and you are dancing. you are making a sandwich (not a 'hot pocket'), and you are dancing. you are in line at the movies, and you are dancing. you are always dancing to life. i love you.

i imagine you getting out of your yoga class today. you are smiling while listening to the newest music that you cannot wait to share with your friends back east, because making others happy, makes you happy. you swing by the tiny post office to ship out a care package...just because you love to love. i love you.

i imagine you working on a sunday. you are stressed, because you are working. on . a. sunday. you wouldn't have it any other way. you are determined, and you smile knowing that outside those office walls is a world you come home to and love. i love you.


i imagine you walking the dirt paths in your faraway land that you call a second home. you are with a visitor who desires an adventure, and you ever so graciously take on the host role. you are kind and patient as they stumble through a foreign language, not so foreign to you anymore. your humility is calming. and as you walk past a small stretch of stores and people, you snapped photographs in your mind. you know the different types of smiles and the names of those who possess them. you are telling your visitor about the spices you smell and remembering the edges on the rocks you just passed. you love detail and find beauty in everything. i love you.

i imagine you leaving the big group after you are done talking. you never have been one to sit still, or 'play the game' because everyone else is playing. you walk with your coffee, following your own heart, and come to a tree. you always have to read by a tree, don't you? you inspire me with your words, faith, and longing for a peaceful world. i love you.

first things first- i like writing in all lower case.

after much prompting by a dear friend (and after watching Julie and Julia), i have decided to enter into this world that is blogging. does the first post have to be mind-boggling and in-your-face captivating? i feel like if there was a book on the etiquette of blogging, the first chapter regarding your first post would say something like this: "and make sure to use proper english and utilize the spellcheck button. your first post is your first impression to the world of your potential blogger followers, so grammar is essential. also, try and captivate your audience with radical ideas. try pushing the envelope a little further with sexual jargon, or controversial statements regarding human rights, health care issues, or.....sarah palin comments." i don't know. i'm fairly certain that my 'nest' of a blog, if you will (do people usually write out 'if you will'...hmm?), shall be liberated from all rules- including my own. well, thanks for allowing me to have a safe nest where i can land. i'm pretty pumped to enter into this journey. my name is kaylan- lower case writing, pablo neruda, and tiramisu are some likings.